Drunk
by Pr-anx
Summary: Razer learns why Daxter should never be allowed more than one drink. Chaos ensues. T for cursing. Full splurge inside.


I do not take credit for this. THIS is the brain child of Sunny's drunken escapades and her desire to write a drunken Dazer fic. She's just too shy to put it up.

ENJOY THE WEIRD

-00-

Daxter held his mouth, lips undecided it they wanted to smile or grimace. He went with gaping like a suffocating fish. "R- Raze? I'm so, so sorry. I- I didn't meant to."

Deep green eyes glared up from where Razer perched at the edge of the couch, also with a hand over his face. Hot liquid seeping through his fingers. This kid, he thought, needs to learn how to handle his alcohol.

30 mins earlier:

"Would you stop wriggling, Dax." Razer commanded the red-head under his restraining grip. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were still a frenzied ottsel under all this- this human mush."

"H- Hey!" Daxter scrunched his eyebrows and pushed out his bottom lip, "I don't wriggle. And I'm not mush!"

"Only mush could fall out of my car with such grace as you."

Daxter giggled through a grin and pushed himself away from the Havoc. Without even a step forward he fell back, clicking the door properly shut. "I totally meant to do that. And fo' yer infur- infar- info I didn't actually fall."

"Didn't you?"

"Nope."

Razer removed his hands from the wriggling (yes, it was wriggling no matter what he calls it) ginger to rub the back of his neck, looking up to the dreary sky and one hand slid down his collar in exasperation. "Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm really sorry."

"Are-" Daxter stumbled but caught himself, arms flayed outwards as if making sure the ground was actually still beneath him. Blue eyes flicked upwards. "Are you praying?"

"Sometimes you make me feel like I need to, yes." Razer held Daxter's shoulder and he shrugged him off.

Daxter picked his long ear, squinting cheekily from the safety of the bonnet, "I can't hear you, y'are gonna have to pray louder, babe."

"You're not a god anymore, young man." The sight of this near-cross-eyed man pinches his cheek and he smiles a little. "But the precursors have definitely given me a handful with you."

"That's what she said!" Daxter almost crowed.

"How many shots have you had?"

"Whad'ya mean?" Half crossed eyes tried to focus.

"I mean, you're annihilated. You must have drunk the whole bar."

It was true. Since his exposure with the dark eco he could drink more than his own weight in alcohol, and this was maybe just one of those times. "This isn't even my final form, Raze!"

"Oh, heavens forbid I ever see that." Razer walked to his boyfriend and offered a supporting shoulder. "So how many drinks are on the tab?"

Daxter held up his palms and wiggled his bare toes. "I'm not sure. I lost count on my fingers and toes. Or, maybe- maybe my fingers and toes lost count?" He squinted down at them judgmentally and hissed, "How could you?"

"More than- Daxter!" Razer grabbed Daxter's chin, suddenly the red head's back was straight as an arrow. "Are you paying attention?"

"Mmhm."

"You took more than twenty shots."

"No, no, no-o-o-o. I told you, they lost count. So I drank until-" Daxter's ears twitched madly, staring at the exact tip of his face, blue eyes crossed. "Rah, R-r-r, Rayzah, I can't feel my nose."

The older was sure his face was going to crack, just by watching this intoxicated youth prattle on. Though, knowing Daxter's desires while drunk, the energy would come in handy.

"-annot feel my cheeks, or my ear nubs, my eyebrows, my fingers, my feet." He looked about himself, "but, everything else isn't numb."

Razer knew what that meant. He looked to the wake of Daxter's apparently numb bare-feet across the metal garage floor. "Daxter!" He yelled, "You're putting blood everywhere!"

"Wha-" Daxter turned to see one splurge of blood per two foot prints. He stumbled back into a few buckets, landing with a crash. "Oh, yeah that. I stood on some glass. Probably the suckiest part of my night."

"Inside, now."

Back to the commanding, Daxter rolled his eyes and blinked the drunken cloud away.

"And hop, damnit. Hey, my rug!"

Daxter slumped down on the couch with his foot levitated over the floorboards while Razer cleaned up the mess of bleeding foot. Fighting through the struggles and giggles of his boyfriend.

"That trickle- tickeral- tickles, RAZE!" And with a burst of laughter, Daxter launched his fort forward into Razer's nose.

The two men sat in silence, both dripping red over the rug.

Daxter, of course, thought this was hilarious but also knew it unwise to really laugh. Raze would forgive him, he had to. Right? "R- Raze? I'm so, so sorry. I- I didn't meant to."

The dark haired racer caught a handful of blood in his hand and it dribbled through, "You are in so much trouble, Daxter."

"I'm-"

"Shower! Now!"

Daxter drunkenly hopped to his feet and made his way past the elder man to the bathroom door. Stopping for just a moment, "so, Raze."

"What!?" He snapped getting a tissue.

"I guess sex is out of the question then?"

Razer clenched the fist that wasn't mottled with blood. Punch or slap? Or maybe I could just hold a pillow over his face, just until he stops kicking. He smiled and made his way slowly over to the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of gentleman scotch. As unsophisticated as it was, he took a shot, he'd need the alcohol just to not kill Daxter tonight.

Daxter removed his shirt and pants, kicking his foot backwards up against the wall where it left a bloody patch. "Is that a yes or a no?" Razer flicked his green eyes across, tissue shoved up his nose and hand still bloody. It was the look, the do it or die look that Razer used to give people like Jak. The receiving end of this look was really not where Dax wanted to be.

"Settle down, I was jus- jus kiddin'. Nookie is out of the question, got it."

All the brunette had to do was point one finger at that door and Dax everything but vanished into the bathroom.

Once the read-head was out of sight, Razer smiled and binned the tissue.

"Or maybe not."

-00-

Reviews keep Sunny drunk so we can get more of these interesting stories from her.

For those of you reading AF, we both apologize for the long wait. With internet problems and blonde moments piling up -not to mention procrastination- we've been hard-pressed to find the time to do anything. BUT, that does not mean we are going to forget about it. Chapter fifteen will be the last in AF. Everything will explained in that chapter, though.

-Love, Sunny and Pr-anx


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